My friend Linda remarried when her daughter was four years old. Linda and her new husband had their own child two years after they married. They named their little boy Chad. When Chad was five years old Linda dropped him off for T-Ball practice. Here is how their conversation went that day when she picked him up:
Linda: How was practice today Chad?
Chad : Good! But we had a step coach.
Linda: Step Coach? What do you mean Chad?
Chad : Well the real coach couldn't be there soooo a Step Coach had to fill in.
Chad is almost 30 now and I had not thought about that conversation he had with his mom in years. After I became a step-mom and my step-son moved in with us, that conversation just popped in my head one day.
I guess that is what I am doing...filling in for the real mom since she can't be here. I can't help but think that I do all of the things the "real" mom did but I don't get the same glory. When the "real" mom is around, I get tossed to the side. When an important decision is to be made, the real mom gets called and my opinion somehow isn't as important.
Sometimes I am resentful that I am filling this role but don't get equal billing as the "real" mom. But if I am truthful with myself, I really don't want everything that comes with being the "real" mom. I have my own two children and while I love my step-son, it is a different love than I have for my own two. So with that said, why should I expect him to love me like he does the "real" mom?
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