Looking back over my life I realize that I was a "grass is greener" kind of girl. If I was single I envied people in a relationship. If I was in a relationship, I envied the freedom single people had.
I have caught myself lately envying my friends that do not have children living at home. I envy that they are getting to do "grown up" things with their significant others. They can go away for a weekend at the drop of a hat and not have to worry about finding somewhere for their child to stay. They have parties where only adults attend, they go out to nice dinners and meet friends for drinks. Their lives seem so romantic and spontaneous and I'm jealous. I find myself thinking that this is what I WAS doing and now I've taken three steps back.
I've also envy couples that have been together years, raised their children and now are experiencing the empty nest syndrome together. I am envious of their history. I can't imagine how rewarding it must feel to look at your partner and know that the two of you together made a home and faced financial struggles as newlyweds and then raised children and now have sent them off into the world and are getting to enjoy getting to know each other again as individuals, not just as parents. What would it be like to have basically grown up with your partner? It just sounds so wonderful. I have two sisters and parents that have done this and I DO envy what they have. But I know it didn't just "happen" to them. They along with their spouses worked their tails off to make a life together. It was a CHOICE they made.
More and more everyday, I believe that love is a choice. It's not just something that happens to you. It's something you have to choose to be a part of.
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I think most people tend to have that 'grass is greener' mentality. I know I do. I enjoy where I am in life (an empty nester) but I do miss having kids at home a lot. I miss the door slamming as my youngest came home and him yelling, "Hey, woman! Where's my dinner!" in his teasing way. And I miss little things like my oldest and one of his friends getting together w/us every Thursday night to watch Survivor. I miss Speedball games in the playroom and rock band practice. (I must be crazy) I miss the noise and chaos of kids in and out of the house. But I tend to forget that other stuff that I don't miss--some of which you mentioned! Even now we can't just go away for the weekend at the drop of a hat. We have to find sitters for the dogs! So, in a way, we've found new ways to tie ourselves down. As for long relationships, I won't say it isn't rewarding, because it is. But there is "stuff" in anything, ups and downs, including that. Our philosophy is that when the "downs" come, if we just give it time, the wheel will come around to the upside again. So far, that's proven true! Sometimes I envy your second chance at raising a kid now that you know the ins and outs. I always think "if I'd known then what I do now, I wouldn't have made so many dumb mistakes!"
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